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Sex and the Gods of Internet Marketing
Whenever I mention my occupation to a non-wired person, it seems to generate the same response:
"Isn't there an awful lot of porn on the net?"
The question floats toward me like a smoke ring and forms a halo around my face, framing me as a pornographer, nymphomaniac, and all-round corrupter of innocence.
I expect that from my mother, but it's not the public image I strive to cultivate. I never have a good response ready.
"Hmmm," I nod coquettishly, "I'll have to look into that."
The subtext of my vapid reply could be "Yes, the internet is a modern-day Gomorrah and I'm in it up to my quivering loins," or, "I really haven't heard that, but I'm so pathetically hard-up that I'm gonna race right home and look."
Neither is what I mean to convey, but the truth is probably just as perverse...
I've never really looked into sex on the net.
I always plan to, but I never do. I think I've always been very nervous about what I might find. Who knows? Maybe I myself would become corrupted - lured into the nether regions of psycho-sexual depravity and cyber-sensual abandon... never, perhaps, to return.
(I shudder at the thought... several times.)
Well, that sort of cloistered naiveté is fine when you're just peddling software and minding your own business, but now that I'm prancing around like an e-marketing guru, I no longer have the luxury of ignoring so large and infamous a part of our venue.
THE DARING SEXPLORATIONS OF LINDA COX!
I have shifted into my Lara Croft/Wonder Woman Intrepid Female Explorer persona and I am now going to begin my Conradian trek into the internet's dark interior.
Wish me luck. Here goes...
Okay, I'm back. Thanks for waiting. I'm prepared to report now.
Yep, it seems that there IS some sexual content on the internet. (Drink, please.) Rather a lot, in fact. (Make it a double.) Funny I never noticed before. (Is it warm in here?) Actually, it's amazing there's room for anything else. (WHERE'S THAT FREAKIN' DRINK!?)
Here's what I learned...
THE GODS OF INTERNET MARKETING
Adult website marketers are the most in-your-face, take-no-prisoners, knock-down drag-out rock 'n roll marketers on earth. If I could sell software the way they sell sex, I'd be living on my own island.
IN PRAISE OF CENSORSHIP
Frankly, I very much oppose adult content on the internet. I think it should be legislated out of existence. Here's why:
Sex is the fire in the belly of civilization. If we allow it to become so commonplace that everyone gives up the hot and frenzied pursuit of it, then humanity will just go sit on the couch and watch pro wrestling. And then where will we be?
Sitting on the couch watching pro wrestling, that's where!
About The Author
Linda Cox (J.A.M.G.) was born in a speeding stagecoach amid the screams of fellow passengers as insane, wild-eyed horses dragged them all crashing toward the brink of destruction. That stagecoach was the planet Earth, those passengers were the human race, and Linda Cox is Just Another Marketing Guru. (The horses were just regular horses.) http://www.LindaCox.com/
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Since I sold my last business in 2004 I have been trying hard to make a living online. Most of my neighbors knew what my last business was as it was very obvious from the garage full of soda, water, snacks and vending machines. When I say garage full I am talking about maybe 1000 to 1500 cases at least. Yes, I was a vendor and I did this for about 8 years. 8 years of people complaining about out of date soda, warm candy bars and dimes stuck in the machines. 8 years of 40 foot Pepsi and Coke trucks coming up to my driveway and unloading materials. 8 years of counting coins and dollar bills every day. Had it not been for the recession, 9-11 and the dotcom bust I would probably have grown to where I hired a few workers and I would still be doing it.
I Want To Be An Online Marketer!
Where do I start if I want to be an online marketer? Tough question, huh? There are lots of ways to begin your way on the bumpy journey. Just make sure you are aware that it WILL be a bumpy ride.First things first: do a lot of research. Find out what kind of thingappeals to you most. It could be affilate programs, mlm`s or maybe youlike the idea of selling other peoples products for a commission etc.There are a ton of options, and 1000 times more hype. This is why it`s so important to do as much research as you can before starting out. Sure, you can go the long way round, which is how a lot of us start out, but that`s even more of a bumpy ride...heheheOk, so lets say you`ve decided on where you want to start. You don`t have a product of your own, so you decide to sell other peoples information products, just as an example. Don`t make the mistake that so many people do, by trying to sell something you haven`t personally tested.Put it this way: Who would YOU prefer to buy from? Someone who knows absolutely nothing about the product they`re selling? Or someone who has had firsthand experience with the product they`re selling? You know it`s person number 2, right?So test the product first. Learn everything there is to know about it. If people can trust you to give an honest opinion, they`ll be back for more. Great way of getting contacts AND repeat customers.Now you need a website. Sure, get a free site in the beginning. People might not take you real serious, but at least you get to test and play around with your site until you`re ready to pay for one. Owning your own domain name adds credibility to your site, and there are plenty cheap hosts out there, so do that as soon as you feel ready.Make a real fast-loading splash page from which to sell the product. You don`t have long to catch a potential customers interest, so make it fast and interesting.Don`t fill the page with a ton of waffle. Give the most important information. What can the person get from using the product? Why is the product exactly what the person needs? What is the price etc. Give people a way to pay immediately, in case they REALLY like what they see, there and then.If you have a LOT of information, give them a link to a "more info" page, maybe with pics and payment options. Get a small popup where people can sign up for your contact list for notices on future products. Give them a freebie in exchange for their name and email address.Oh look, you`ve suddenly built yourself a contact list! No "leads" to buy from uncertain sources, no "harvesting" email addresses, no bugging friends and family. You did it! Now you need to keep in touch with your contacts.Why not send them a mail asking for a little more info. Maybe a poll on what type of things they`re most interested in? If you know what your contacts are looking for, then you have something to work with. You can find whatever they need, test it out, and when you`re happy with it, say "Hey, I found something I think you may like!"Narrow your focus. Don`t try to be "everything" to "everyone", you`ll just end up spreading yourself out way too thin. Find what works for you, what excites you, and work from there. Yes, I said "excites". We all need a bit of excitement in life, right? So why not work with something you`re excited about? If and when it stops working for you, drop it and move on.Remember, you can do this with all kindsa programs, not just information products. It all depends on what appeals to you most. Just give it a reasonable amount of time, and stick with it. If it DOESN`T work, then hey, you`ll have learnt some things on the way, and you`ll be more ready to carry on to the next thing. Don`t give up, be determined and disciplined,and you will find the way.
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